


They Come In Threes

by netlagd



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3309224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netlagd/pseuds/netlagd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>Banner (and beta) by the ever wonderful such_a_steph</p><p>Brian and Justin are spending at Britin.<br/>Written for the 2009 qaf_giftxchnge<br/>Request: The tree is catching fire, a mouse is living in the cupboard and maybe the gang is coming round.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Come In Threes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maybe_742](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=maybe_742).



> Timeline: Post season 5ish  
> Warning: None  
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _Queer As Folk_ are the property of Russell T. Davies, CowLip Productions, Tony Jonas Productions, Showtime Networks Inc. and others. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Christmas tree catching on fire may have been the final straw as far as Brian was concerned, but it was only the beginning.

However, one charred Christmas Tree and a nearly ruined antique oriental carpet did manage to give Brian the excuse to fire the Teutonic housekeeper. 

Gerta, the Frau from Adenau, was sent packing back to the hinterlands along with a month's severance and no holiday bonus. 

Brian had never much cared for Justin's choice of housekeeper -- she was forever trying to ply them with fat and carb riddled sausages, potatoes and things that he was quite certain were supposed to be green, but had been boiled down to a muddy, brown, sludge-like consistency. 

The only thing Brian could say in her favor was that she was fastidious in her cleaning and knew a good beer. But surely help was not that hard to find in this economy, and he could order any beer he wanted from the specialty shop down in the village.

Of course, that meant that once again they were without a housekeeper at Christmas.

After Justin had doused the final flames of the candles that Gerta had attached to the tree with binder clips, he knelt down and mopped up the water that was seeping into the hand tied antique oriental carpet. _Christ, Brian was going to bitch about having the carpet cleaned too!_ He went on the defensive.

"She just wanted a little something to reminder her of home!" 

“So she decided to put lit candles on a dry piece of pine? We’re lucky it didn’t burn the house down!

"Do you have any idea how long it took me to find someone willing to put up with your demands?"

"A few weeks..."

"Try THREE months."

"We'll hire a service."

"Do you remember the last time we hired a service?"

Brian remembered, of course. They’d deal with it. He scanned the room and took in the charred remains of the professionally decorated tree, and the soaking Persian rug he’d paid a small fortune for. Then he looked at his partner – the stubborn set of Justin’s jaw, the blue eyes as dark as the midnight sky, the water that stained the denim covering his legs. _Damn, Justin was fucking hot when he was angry._ They could continue this argument indefinitely. He sighed.

“Give me five minutes to change into some jeans and I’ll help you with that.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In light of everything that had happened, it wasn’t all that bad. They hauled the carpet to the garage and lay it across some saw horses to drip and hopefully dry a bit. In the morning, Brian would get his assistant to find a reputable rug dealer who could clean it.

Disassembling the tree turned out to be an enlightening exercise.

“This is crap! This is all plastic.”

Justin gave Brian a look. “At the risk of saying I told you so…”

Brian waved him off, “Yeah, yeah, we’ll not be using _this_ designer again.”

“You know, I am a professional artist…”

The phone rang. Brian looked at the caller ID – the munchers.

“Yes?”

“Oh, Brian…”

“Who were you expecting?”

“Oh, well…”

“Spit it out… is it something with Gus? Is he all right? Any more trouble with the school bully?”

“Oh, no. No, everything is fine. Gus is fine. That boy was expelled, and there have been no other problems. It’s just… well…” 

Justin pulled the phone away from Brian. “Hey Lindsay, this might not be the best… what? Oh?”

Brian grabbed at the phone, but Justin dodged past Brian and took up residence on the far side of the living room.

“No, no, we don’t mind at all. There’s plenty of room. I’m sure Brian would love for you all to stay here. I’m sure we can trade in our tickets for a later trip. Great! We’ll see you on Wednesday.”

Justin pressed end before Brian was able to snatch the phone from his hand.

“Justin, what the fuck!?”

“Change of plans. Lindsay and Melanie, Gus and JR are coming to Pittsburgh for Christmas. Lindsay wanted know if it was okay for them to stay with us. I told her it would be fine.” Justin gave Brian a smarmy little smile.

Brian shook his head. He’d heard Justin’s part of the conversation. He didn’t mind having Gus here, or even JR – Ben and Michael, could use one of the spare rooms. But Lindsay and Melanie? The last time the munchers had come to Britin, he and Justin accidentally walked in on them in the game room. Brian frowned. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to sit on the couch for a month. Finally, he’d sent the sofa out to be cleaned, only then did he deign to sit upon it again.

“I guess you’ll be arranging to have the service come in daily then.” Brian retaliated.

Justin quickly lost his smile. _Shit!_

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The munchers arrived on Wednesday mid-afternoon. Brian was at Kinnetik. Justin was mildly alarmed when he saw the amount of luggage that packed Melanie and Lindsay’s minivan and SUV.

“Two cars?” Justin was perplexed. Were they having problems again? 

“Oh, well…” Lindsay looked to Melanie.

“We have a lot going on and we decided that two cars would give us more flexibility being out here rather than in Pittsburgh.” Melanie finished with a tight little smile.

Justin opened his mouth, then closed it not knowing exactly what to say. He looked into the vehicles. The suitcases were wrapped in plastic wrap like some he’d seen at the airport. But the girls had driven down from Canada. He was about to ask, but thought a moment. “Need help unloading? I can help you take these upstairs…”

“Oh Justin,” Lindsay’s voiced had him stopping mid-stride. “Perhaps you won’t mind if we do some laundry. What with our change in plans, I just packed up everything and figured we could take care of the dirty clothes here.”

Justin’s brows furrowed, but he responded with a “no problem” and he began to take the rather numerous suitcases and plastic wrapped bags to the laundry room off the kitchen. 

As soon as the vehicles were unloaded, Justin headed up to his and Brian’s bedroom before placing his call. “You’ve got to come home.”

“Why, are the munchers at it again?” Brian couldn’t figure out what was worse, Lindsay and Melanie at each other’s throats in a fight, or in the throws of passion. For Justin’s sake, he hoped they were fighting.

“If things get to be too much, just throw some cold water on them.” Brian smiled to himself -- _there, that covered either scenario_.

“No, something weird is going on – I’m not sure what, but I don’t want to have to deal with it… alone.”

“You invited them.”

“I did n…”

“You did call the service, right?”

“Fuck!”

“Better make that call. Hold down the fort, I’ll be home around five.” Brian hung up with a chuckle. He knew he’d have hell to pay when he got home, but at least he’d won this round.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gus was wrapped in a towel and talking to Justin when Brian arrived home. 

“…so we get to have all new clothes… Mom and Mama have to wash everything in really hot water and we’re not allowed to touch our old clothes if we’ve had our shower.”

“Gus, why aren’t you allowed to touch your old clothes?” Brian drew his son’s attention from Justin.

“Dad!” Gus launched himself at Brian and all other thoughts were forgotten.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Bed bugs, Lindsay?” Brian waited until after dinner and he along with Justin had tucked the children in before confronting the women. 

Lindsay and Melanie had the good grace to at least look ashamed. 

“Listen, Brian,” Mel started. 

Brian waved her away. “Lindsay. Your turn. Talk – and make it quick, your children are upstairs waiting to be kissed good night.”

“Perhaps we should tuck them in first…” Lindsay and Mel beat a hasty retreat.

Justin looked at Brian. He opened the fridge and smiled. “Beer?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Brian we can explain.”

“Just how many weeks was my son and Michael’s daughter exposed to those blood-sucking parasites? I thought you said you had health insurance coverage. What is going on here?”

“Well, Brian…,” Lindsay started. 

“Listen, asshole. We took them to the doctor’s immediately,” Melanie interrupted her wife. “What kind of parents do you think we are?”

“Mel, I’m sure Brian didn’t mean anything…” Lindsay looked pleadingly at Brian, silently begging him not to start a fight.

He waived his hand in dismissal. “What is this about you all coming to live with Justin and me at Britin?”

“Oh… well…”

"Oh, well?"

“Our fucking house was condemned!” The truth burst forth from Melanie. “Christ! Are you happy now? You have us at your mercy, okay? We’re no better than the homeless people who line the streets of Pittsburgh. The bedbug infestation took over the house, nothing the landlord did got rid of them. We had to throw out all of the furniture. Then the landlord wouldn’t give us our deposit back. We didn’t have anywhere to move, and immigration won’t move forward with out residency papers without a permanent address. Lindsay lost her job because she doesn’t have residency paperwork, and I can’t get into the coursework I need to take the bar for another six months. We didn’t really have a choice. We packed up what little was left and came back to Pittsburgh with our tails between our legs. Happy?”

“Well, Mel, for once I have to applaud your reasoning. Instead of letting this drag on for months, you cut your losses and did what was best for your children. Not only am I happy, but I heartily approve. Providing you didn’t bring any hitchhiker’s along in your travels.”

“We’ve taken extreme precautions,” Lindsay rushed to assure Brian that they hadn’t brought the plague of pests with them. “We’ve already done an extensive treatment to our belongings and the vehicles, and just to be on the safe side, we’re washing everything we brought again just to be sure. We’re going to steam clean the vehicles again tomorrow and we’ve got new clothes for everyone.”

Brian shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I guess I can afford a spike in the water bill. But someone please explain to me why Gus and JR think that they and their mommies are moving in with Justin and I?”

“It was only supposed to be temporary. With the loss of the house in Canada and having to move back to Pittsburgh, we need a place to stay until we can find a house and jobs and…” Lindsay’s momentum petered out.

“We need a place to stay, temporarily.” Melanie laid it on the line. “You and Justin are the only part of the family that can accommodate us and two kids. We had hoped to have a chance to discuss this with you before… well, before.”

“And…?” Brian raised his eyebrows and waited.

“Oh fuck, you’re going to make us beg? Brian…”

“and Justin.” Brian inserted.

Mel fumed, but she could swallow her pride for her family. “Brian and Justin, would it be alright if Lindsay and I and Gus and JR stay with you until we can get our new home set up?”

“You didn’t say the magic word!”

“Brian!” Justin and Lindsay admonished in unison, as Lindsay grabbed Mel and held her back.

“You fucking dick!”

Lindsay looked over her shoulder, “Please?”

Before Brian could say a word, Justin responded, “Brian and I would be delighted for you all to stay with us as long as you need to.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Between the cleaning service, and the increases in the water, electric and gas bills thanks to our guests, you’re costing me a fortune.” Brian tackled Justin and pinned him to the mattress. “I think you are going to have to pay for your transgressions.”

Justin put up token resistance as Brian dominated him.

“Dad?” Gus called to his father from the doorway.

“Fuck,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, “remember, we’re going to have to start locking the doors.”

Brian flipped over on his back and allowed Justin to raise up on his elbows. “What’s up, Gus.”

“Did you see Algernon?”

Brian looked at Justin, who shrugged. “Is Algernon one of your stuffed animals?”

Gus laughed. “No. Algernon is my mouse. He’s not in his cage and I can’t find him in my room.”

“A mouse?”

“Yeah. He’s white and he has little pink eyes and whiskers…”

Brian rubbed his eyes. “Gus,” Brian very carefully measured his words. “When did you get a mouse?”

“Well, mom said I could have him since I had to leave behind all my stuffed animals – even my leather bear. We picked up Algernon at the pet store yesterday afternoon just before we arrived.”

“And you and your mothers didn’t feel that it was necessary to introduce your pet to Justin and I?”

“Mama said that it probably wasn’t the best time to let you know yesterday. I was going to introduce you this morning, but Algernon is missing.”

Brian levered himself from the bed and grabbed Justin’s hand. “We’re on a mission to catch a mouse.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“You do realize with the fucking size of this place, that damned rat could be anywhere.”

“Mouse.”

“What?”

“It’s a mouse, not a rat.”

“Whatever. This is all your fault.”

“My fault? How is a lost mouse my fault?”

“You invited them here.”

“but…”

“You will have to make restitution.”

A shriek from the kitchen sent Brian and Justin running.

Rose, the temporary housekeeper that the cleaning agency had sent, was on a chair.

“I think she found Algernon,” Justin hypothesized.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“It’s quiet.”

“It won’t be tomorrow.”

“ _You_ invited Deb and the rest of the gang here for Christmas day.” Justin poked Brian in the chest with his index finger.

“Yeah, well, they would have shown up anyway. Better to schedule their visitation than have them popping up at all hours of the day. This way I was able to hold Debbie off until at least 8am.”

“Admit it. You love having Gus here for Christmas.”

“Gus, yes; the rest… Did you lock the door?”

“Brian!”

“Sunshine, you spend way too much time talking with those lips when they could be far more productive…”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Justin smiled at the domesticity of the sight; he wished he had a camera, for Brian would undoubtedly deny such a picture. In an uncharacteristic gesture of generosity, Brian had offered to watch the children. Lindsay and Mel had scurried off to their rooms to do some last minute wrapping. 

JR was curled up in Brian’s lap, while Gus was leaning against Brian’s side eagerly looking at the pictures in the book.

“…when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a…”

“Mouse!” Gus exclaimed and pointed to the new, brightly colored Habitrail that now held Algernon.

Brian smiled down at Gus and tousled his hair, which earned him a “Dad!”

He continued on “The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds… hmmm, it seems we’re going to have to move upstairs.” He tickled JR who shrieked and laughed. 

“No, Uncle Brian, finish the story!” 

“Yes, ma’am! ‘While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;  
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap…”

Justin grabbed an oversized pillow for a seat on the floor and leaned back against the couch. He closed his eyes and let Brian’s soothing voice take him away to the magical night of Clement Clark Moore’s ‘A Visit from St. Nick’. He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew, the final words of the poem were coming from Brian:

“He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

“Good night,” a sleepy JR parroted.

“Happy Christmas, Dad!” Gus quietly added.

“Happy Christmas, Gus.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Justin climbed into bed and snuggled down underneath the down comforter.

Brian locked the door, and shut off lights as he made his way to join Justin. As soon as he hit the sheets, Justin rolled to Brian’s side, his silken hair tickling Brian’s chest.

“Happy Christmas, Brian.”

“Happy Christmas, Justin.” It wasn’t too bad having a houseful of family guests at the holidays. In fact, it could be a lot worse than a charred Christmas Tree, a rogue mouse, and a louse of a sister-in-law. But Brian could live with it. In fact, he couldn’t think what he’d do without it or the man by his side. _Christ! I’m turning into a lesbian!_ Brian gave a chuckle that rumbled in his chest. And it didn’t appear that he mind it one bit.

Justin stirred and looked at his partner in question. Brian kissed the top of Justin’s head. “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

“Mmmmmm.” Justin agreed and pulled Brian’s head down so their lip could meet.


End file.
